The sticky notes were the idea of Kevin Young’s mother-in-law, Tammy Bailey.
She handed them out a few months ago, and encouraged family members to write "cool thoughts and words of encouragement" for others on them and leave them around the house.
Young's three children — 12-year-old Jude, 10-year-old Van, and 7-year-old Zoey — took their grandmother's directive to heart.
Young's BYU basketball team was struggling a bit when it hit Big 12 play in January, losing badly at Houston and starting 1-3 in conference games and looking nothing like the The NCAA Tournament team it would become.
The morning before one important home game, Young got in his car and noticed a sticky note attached to his steering wheel, written by one of his sons.
"Let’s get this win tonight, dad," the note read, followed by the word "PROvo," a reminder that Young promised in his introductory news conference last year that he would establish BYU as a pipeline to the NBA.
The Cougars lost that game, Young remembers, but the next morning he woke up to find another note on his bathroom mirror, written by a different son, saying, “Hey dad, it is OK, we will get the next one. We are good.”
Young's voice caught a bit when he relayed the story last week to the Deseret News in response to a question about some of the greatest joys of fatherhood.
That was pretty cool," he said. "It was a 'you got this' type of thing, and honestly, I get emotional even talking about it. But those notes were pretty awesome. … They are all-in, man. Fully invested. My oldest one, Jude, is locked in to our success, and his little brother (Van) is right behind him.
The same can be said of Kevin Young when it comes to fatherhood and family. 20th men's basketball coach In BYU history, for all the success he achieved on the hardwood in his first season in Provo, he is just as locked-in as a husband to Melissa and father of Jude, Van, and Zoey.
The couple's fourth child, and second daughter, is due in late September — before Young and the Cougars embark on his second season in Provo and the most difficult schedule in BYU basketball history with what is expected to be one of the best teams in school history, led by No. 1 prep recruit AJ Dybantsa and returning all-Big 12 wing Richie Saunders.
Coaching is just what I do. It is not who I am," Young said. "Being a dad is definitely who I am. … I love being a dad, man. It is my favorite thing about what I get to do. It really shapes who I am. Where it intersects with my career is it really has driven my career choices. It is the thing that matters most to me.
Featuring Kevin Young before Father’s Day
Every June, the Deseret News profiles a father in the Utah sports community, a dad who has successfully balanced his professional and family life in an extraordinary manner. We’ve featured former Utah basketball coach Craig Smith , the father of BYU football coach Kalani Sitake (Tom), the father of BYU defensive coordinator Jay Hill (Ferrell) and the father of BYU and NFL quarterback Zach Wilson (Mike Wilson)
Young, 43, is this year's choice.
He met Melissa Bailey — almost everyone calls her Missy — when She was a student at BYU and he was a volunteer assistant coach. at Utah Valley University, and they were married in the Salt Lake Temple in 2011. He became a father for the first time in 2013, four months after he was fired as the head coach of the Iowa Energy of the NBA’s D-League (now known as the G-League).
Young credits his own parents, Melissa’s parents, and “many, many” fellow coaches along his career path who instilled the importance of fatherhood into him. Men like John Bryant, who was a fellow assistant with the Chicago Bulls, and current St. Joseph’s head coach Billy Lange were there along the way.
So were Todd Wright, now director of player performance for the Los Angeles Clippers, and Todor Pandov, head strength coach of the Orlando Magic.
More recently, NBA head coaches who Young has worked for, including Brett Brown and Monty Williams, have been big family guys who encouraged Young to stay close to his family.
A large part of it is I was lucky about who I was around as a young coach," Young said. "I could list four or five other guys who were instrumental. … Monty Williams is a huge family guy. Brett Brown is, too. That was probably as critical as anything. ... If I worked for other coaches that didn’t have that, I don’t know if my desire to remain a coach would have been as high as it is. So that was something I feel fortunate about, for sure.
Young said that prior to accepting the BYU job, he did a lot of research on a college coach’s lifestyle and ability to spend more time with his family, and talked to a lot of guys who had coached at both levels to make sure becoming a head coach would not have a negative effect on his family.
They all felt strongly there was definitely more time at home in the college game, and (there) is. It has been cool. I have been able to be at a lot more of my kids’ games," Young said. "Part of that, though, too, is being a head coach. Being an assistant, you are at the mercy of the schedule. When you are the head coach, you get to make the schedule out. So there is a lot that goes into that.
But it has played out nicely, and probably even more so because we are at BYU. You have family importance here, and the welcoming of families and stuff like that," he continued. "So that has been something we have thoroughly enjoyed.
'A legacy to live up to' — Brigham Young is in his roots, literally
Kevin Young can trace his roots back to Brigham Young — he’s the fourth great-nephew of the second president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the man whom BYU is named after.
Brigham Young's brother Lorenzo Dow Young, is Kevin Young’s great-great-great-great-grandfather.
“That’s quite a legacy to live up to,” he said.
It is a legacy that he wants his children to always remember, as well.
Young's father, Phillip Young, said that of his six children — five sons and a daughter — Kevin, the third-oldest child and second-oldest son, has "always been the one that appreciates family history the most."
Two years ago, Kevin and Melissa rented a recreational vehicle and drove from their home in Phoenix to Melissa’s family’s farm near Omaha, Nebraska, and then back through Utah so the kids could see where their ancestors lived in Huntington, Emery County.
They checked out the Stuart Guard Station in Huntington Canyon, which was built in 1930 and where Kevin’s grandfather, Jonathan Dee Young, and great-grandfather, Lee Young, lived during the summer months.
“We were able to go through the cabin, and Kevin took it as a real teaching moment to help his boys realize where they came from,” Phil Young said. “That’s always been very important to Kevin, where our family has been, who we are, and exposing his family to that, and teaching them that they have a great history.”
Creating a family atmosphere in BYU basketball
It is not uncommon to see a lot of kids running around the Marriott Center court after games, or during other times at the BYU basketball practice facility on campus (Marriott Center Annex). There’s a reason for that.
The coaching staff Young has assembled in Provo has more than 20 players combined — although some of those players are also in college. Chris Burgess John Linehan, Doug Stewart, Will Voigt, Brandon Dunson, Nate Austin, and Jordan Brady all have children. Burgess and Brady lead the way with five apiece.
Chief of staff Doug Stewart and his wife, Lindsay, have three.
Young's emphasis on family and fatherhood is "tremendous," Stewart said.
What he does with his family carries over to our basketball team, and that becomes family. So that’s probably the biggest testimonial you could put out there," Stewart said. "The time, energy and effort he puts into his immediate family, he brings that forth to our basketball family as well.
When you have a good run like last year, you don't achieve it unless there is that culture, that chemistry, that energy, things like that. He brings what he does as a father at home to the gym, and that's what makes it special.
Young said during the offseason, when his kids are still in school, he likes to help with breakfast, prepare lunches, and drop them off at school before heading into the office. During the season, there are more early mornings, and it's a 50-50 chance whether he gets to help out before driving to work.
That is one thing I am big on, even with the other coaches. I am not a big office guy," he said. "So we come in, we try to be efficient with the work that we do, so that if there are things going on at home everybody can get to them without feeling guilty or whatever. So that is a huge thing for me.
Yes, the Young boys are fully involved in team sports — baseball, basketball, soccer and football — and Zoey is currently taking tennis lessons.
“We are a huge sports family. Games are always on TV. A lot of my wife’s brothers played football and basketball, and all of my family played sports, too,” he said. “So our kids have taken a natural liking to it.”
Young said the Utah County youth sports scene "is pretty crazy," and he often consults with his staffers, such as Stewart, to compare notes and find the best opportunities for his kids. He said he is "pretty hands-off" at games and athletic events, not wanting to "make things feel weird" for other coaches.
I definitely make it a point to try to get to their games. That is something that I didn’t realize as a young father — how awesome it is to watch your young kids play sports," he said. "Like, a few years ago, I am in the NBA watching the best players in the world, and I would much rather go watch this 5-year-old soccer game. I love going to watch my kids play.
Guiding forces: Gospel and the 'really good dad'
No story on Kevin Young’s fatherhood would be complete without a mention of how much his own father, Phil Young, and his wife, Melissa, have contributed to his success, he said.
He called his father the person he is closest to in his life, outside of his wife.
He is the guy I call when I just gotta run something by him, regardless of the topic, whether it is a career decision, or something with the kids, something with my wife, financial stuff, whatever it might be. He is always the first call for me," said Young. "Although he traveled a lot when I was a kid, he did such a good job of just being present, even though he was traveling quite a bit. I just always admired him for that.
Phil Young was a traveling salesman, so he knows what it is like to be away from home for long stretches, like Kevin is during the season.
As it relates to my career, the funny thing is my dad did not grow up a sports guy, which is kinda funny.
"My brothers are all into sports, too. But he is a car guy, and that is kinda his thing. He was not super athletic, so he has obviously gotten into sports a lot later, having athletic kids and so forth," Kevin said.
The coach said that his upbringing in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and his relationship with Jesus Christ has been the foundation behind it all.
That is a testament to my dad, and all the lessons he taught me. The vehicle with which he taught me a lot of life lessons was the gospel, and I think partially why he and I are so close," Kevin continued. "You know, I didn’t go on a mission, so I am probably not the prototypical Mormon guy, or whatever. But my relationship with my dad is what helped me stay in line with the gospel. A lot of who I am is because of my dad. He’s just a really good dad.
Will Young grow old at BYU?
Young has proven to be a really good coach, having recently signed a "long-term" contract. contract extension that BYU said in a news release should keep him in Provo "for the foreseeable future."
The Cougars went 26-10 overall, and 14-6 in Big 12 play, in his inaugural season. That’s the most wins by a first-year head coach in program history.
He spoke to the Deseret News a couple of hours before that contract extension was announced, but didn’t mention it in the interview. He did speak candidly about having some interest in the Phoenix Suns’ head coaching job, which was filled the day before the extension was announced.
Our quality of life is definitely the No. 1 thing (keeping him at BYU)," he said. "Not to get super philosophical about it, but it is not about the dollar amounts for me. It is about what money allows you to do from a quality of life standpoint, what you prioritize. So that’s sort of how I view how I have steered my career as it relates to money and how that ties into my long-term goals. That’s a whole 'nother topic. But that’s how I navigate that space.
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